Jen’s Jewels of Judgment

I’ve decided I am going to start two running columns here (Travel Tips for Twits has many more entries to come…and now this…random judgments).

This one is not for the faint of heart and is particularly meant for the ladies….

No one wants  to use a public restroom and wonder who was murdered there…

bloody_knife-400x238….so PLEASE FLUSH.  Then wait for the flush to finish.  Check again.  Does it look like someone died?  FLUSH AGAIN.  Repeat until the crime scene is clean.

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Travel tips for twits

I apparently owe you guys a new blog post so here it is – angry 5am ranting from someone who got far too little sleep last night….

1. Before you get on an airplane sometimes they randomly ask certain people to show ID. No wait, actually they require that of everyone all the fucking time since like the beginning of time. Perhaps you should know that and actually have an ID ready or at a minimum not on the bottom of the 4th bag you plan to search.

2. Along with the ID they also like to see a boarding pass aka proof that you’ve actually purchased a ticket for said flight. See above.

3. Water or iced tea or glass bottles filled with your beverage of choice are not allowed through security. Haven’t been for a really long time. In case you haven’t heard there was this little thing called 9/11 that changed air travel. In case this is still news to you no matter how many times you wave the bottle around and say you are thirsty the rules are unlikely to change just for you. Oh you’re thirsty? I didn’t know. Go right ahead.

4. When you see everyone else on line taking off their shoes and putting them on the belt here’s a thought – You should too. And if your shoes lace up to the knee or have very involved buckles you may want to start the process in advance.

5. And if you are traveling with a fucking cello, upon going through the scanner you should remove your fucking cello from the belt before putting on your shoes, your belt or your many hipster scarves.

Thank you in advance.