A Question & a Concern

So this is about All-Star Celebrity Apprentice again.  If I had any sort of attention span, I could turn this blog into a kick-ass apprentice recap site.  Alas, I do not.  I barely have the attention span to watch the two hours, nevermind recap them.

But a question…


Are the scissors multiplying or merely growing larger in size?



When I first saw Dee walk out, my first thought was “I need that coat!”

DeeAnd that concerns me!


I am not sophisticated (surprise!!)

So I actually saw another movie this weekend. This time something critically acclaimed and award winning because my friend and I were trying to be fancy. Instead we were mostly bored.

What is it with critically acclaimed or independent films? Are there moments of brilliance? Absolutely. But why do these moments have to be surrounded by such mind numbing dullness?

I know they want things to feel real. Yes watching people read is super relatable! But I don’t want to watch it. I wash dishes every day too. But there’s a reason no one pays to sit in my kitchen. (And yeah that was a lie but the point is still there even if it only happens 1-2 times a week but then there is added excitement like the how long does it take milk to solidify mystery)

And would a true soundtrack kill anyone? These movies are always full of so much damn silence. I know my life doesn’t have a soundtrack. But here’s a news flash I go to movies because they are supposed to be more interesting than life.

I think these movies are so well liked because you just spent the last two hours desperately clinging to those moments of brilliance like the life savers they are so they’re all you remember. That combined with the relief you feel from seeing the closing credits means you leave the theater feeling happy.

Help me please!!!

I am sad when spring/summer brings all of my good TV shows to an end, but I do love my mindless reality TV.  Kitchen Nightmares is starting soon and last night All Star Celebrity Apprentice premiered.

I was super excited because my favorite celebreality star (Bret Michaels) was back!  I love watching him, when he is performing, banging dumb/crazy chicks on Rock of Love, being a dad or fighting with Donald Trump.  He’s good TV.  He’s just dumb enough to say funny stuff, but smart enough to do well, and a decent enough guy to make you like him and root for him.

Seeing as I love him, I am not even going to get into the BULLSHIT that happened last night, but one of the final scenes left me wondering…

Slide1Now, I am used to seeing Amanda here pretending to write crap in her little book, whenever Donald tells her to send in the losers.  I’ve never given what she is writing or doodling or whatever more than a passing thought.

But last night, this question jumped out at me – What the hell is up with her pencil cup?  On TV, it half looked like dental tools.  I wondered, is she performing dentistry in her spare time?  The question plagued me so much last night that today I looked up the episode online, fast forwarded to this scene and paused the video.

Now I see that they are scissors, and not just any scissors, gold scissors, and not just a pair of scissors, but a veritable assload of scissors.

What does this woman with seemingly no function other than telling the losers they can go back inside, with a few seconds of fake writing, need with all those scissors?

Someone, please help me out here.  I have wasted so much brain power on this question already that I haven’t even begun to translate anything that Gary Busey said.

UPDATE: I am not the only person wondering about the scissors – http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/all-star-celebrity-apprentice-premiere-recap/5/#disqus_thread