The gnome in my drawer

Yes, I know that sounds dirty.  (It doesn’t?  That’s just me?  Oh well, forget I said it then.)

Anyhoo, every morning I take a shower, get dressed and brush my teeth.  And every morning this happens:


What is this mysterious amoeba-shaped stain, you ask?  I have no idea.  I have examined the situation.

Starting with the stain….Slide2

Must be toothpaste…right?

Then the bathroom vanity…


But there is no visible stain on the vanity.  Hmmm!

But it must be coming from the vanity.  There is no other explanation.

So I resort to contorting myself into this candy cane like shape to brush my teeth while ensuring that no part of my body goes anywhere near the vanity.


And still…


Then in desperation, I turn to science.  I begin to measure shit…


Okay, I really measured nothing, but when you are standing next to the sink, it ain’t that hard to estimate.

Fuck.  This is the only explanation…Slide1

A mischievous gnome who lives in my vanity drawer, lying in wait, to squirt stuff on me.

(Still not dirty?)


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