Pedophilia Pandemonium

Yes, I even love using alliteration when discussing pedophilia.  Anywhoo…

I am away on a business trip in San Diego that is approaching 5 days in length.  Whenever I am away for too long, I start looking longingly at other children.  And all week long, I have been frequenting places with lots of kids, e.g., tourist traps, ice cream shops, beaches, etc.

As a woman no one looks at me funny when I stare at their children.  Most people even smile at me.  At least I wasn’t trolling the schoolyards, right?

Now, consider this situation.  A dad goes away on business and misses his kids.  He starts staring longingly at other kids.  Does he meet the same reaction?  Probably not.  People look at him like he is wearing a trench coat, driving a windowless van handing out free candy.

The other day, I was in the playground with other parents and there was an older man hanging out near a group of small boys, but not immediately next to a particular boy, and a mom said, “Who is that man?  What is he doing here?”  I assumed he was a dad (and he was).  The thought that he was a pedophile preying on small children in public in broad daylight surrounded by seemingly responsible parents never crossed my mind.  Did I under-react or did she over-react?

And from what I hear, even if people aren’t looking at a dad funny, he fears that they will.  He takes steps to ensure that his actions are beyond reproach.

Is all of this panic really necessary?  And if it is, should it be so solely focused on men?  I realize pedophilia is more common in men, but it’s hardly common at all and there are female pedophiles too.

Thoughts on this issue of gender inequality?

Eventually, I will write about something fun again, I promise.


3 responses

  1. I think that’s kind of crazy that she was instantly freaked out by a guy at a playground. Why just the other week Kate and I totally entertained some dude on a bench when she repeatedly ran away from the free kiddie music show. I didn’t think he was a pedophile but after awhile I thought maybe he was a nice homeless man. So what does that say about me?! I told him to have a nice day when we left for the last time!

  2. You are just a big bundle of bliss lately.
    As an active dad when my kids were young, I can tell you I was approached more times than I can recall by some “concerned parents” while sitting at a bench or table at the play ground while my kids were playing. Most times it was by the resident playground mayor mom. A few times by that mom with an embarrassed husband in tow. The exchanges all were pretty similar.

    “You know you shouldn’t be here if you don’t have children. This is a playground for town residents and their children.”
    “Well I live in town, and there are my kids”
    “Oh , um, OK then”

    They’d normally then fast walk back to their group of gossips and inform them I was OK…

    Occasionally the husband would wait till his wife left and apologize.
    I’ve never had another dad approach me for that reason by himself.

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