I am spoiled and ashamed

As you all know, my boy had surgery yesterday and is now saddled with two knee-high casts.  I thought he did a great job yesterday, but I think part of me expected him to be over it today.

He is always so reasonable and mature and polite and well-behaved, that today when he was whiny and fresh and inconsolable, it caught me completely off guard.  Don’t get me wrong, there were times today when he was in great spirits, smiling, joking around and making up songs, but the rest of the day?  Oh boy.

He’s usually such a trooper who finds the positive in everything and always finds a reason to say “I am lucky, because…”, so I somehow expected him to roll with this.  I spent most of the day complaining about how whiny he was and I was half joking, but just half.

But he’s just a kid.  What the hell was I thinking?  He’s not the mature adult he often acts like.  He’s five and he’s in pain and uncomfortable and sleep-deprived and on painkillers.  Of course, he is going to be grumpy and unhappy.

I have no right to be unhappy about that.  Tomorrow is going to be a better day, because I am going to be better.  I am going to remind myself that he is just a kid who has been through something really rough and he’s still going through it.  And just like we are telling him he needs to deal with the pain and start moving around, because it will be better for him in the end, I too am going to deal with the whining, because he’s my baby and I love him more than life itself.  I may not smile about it, but I am not going to complain about it either.

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3 responses

  1. Jen:

    Everything you feel is natural, and you shouldn’t feel ashamed, because while yes he’s uncomfortable and in pain and sleep deprived, I’m sure as his mother who is caring for him & worried about him and probably a little sleep deprived yourself. Easy to say I know but remember do your best to take yourself out of the situation as much as you’re able, do a ten count and try to relax. You’ll probably still get flustered, but again only natural, and human.

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