Ladies, listen up and SIT DOWN!

Public restrooms do not have to be a place to fear.  Irrational fear of the toilet seat has created a vicious cycle in public bathrooms across the country:

We are not meant to pee standing up!  We weren’t built that way and we’re just not good at it.

In order to stop the insanity and needless peeing on the floor, I suggest we all agree to a few simple guidelines:

  1. Let’s all start by assuming that all the other women who use public restrooms are decent, germ-fearing people like ourselves.
  2. Next sit down to pee.  If we all agree to do that, the seat will remain dry and relatively clean.  If you are still afraid, read this article that says “Experts say our fear of sitting on the average toilet seat (one that isn’t visibly soiled) is overblown.”
  3. Trust your skin to act as the barrier it is.  Assuming your butt cheeks and upper thighs do not have open sores (I know mine don’t so I will trust that yours don’t either), sitting on pee may be gross, but it’s not unsafe.

If we all follow these simple guidelines and stop pretending we have any sense of aim when it comes to our pee, we can keep the toilet seats and the floor around the toilets from becoming soiled with our excrement and the public bathroom will be a better place.

While we’re at it, let’s all agree to wash our hands with soap after using the restroom.  That way we can all push down on the lever that releases the paper towels with our hands, without doing any sort of gymnastic high-kicks, we can throw our used paper towels in the garbage (and not just gingerly place them on top) and we can open the doors, using our hands.  Imagine that!

Stop for a moment and imagine a world where we can trust other women to behave like normal human beings with at least a minimal sense of hygiene.  This dream can be a reality, but we need to band together!  Trust me, this is not a one-woman job.  I’ve tried.  All I get is a wet ass for my trouble!

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